Counsellor & Psychotherapist
Masters of Counselling & Psychotherapy UofA
Member of the ACA College of Supervisors
Level 3 Member Australian Counselling Association
Loving yourself is the key to successful relationships but how do you actually go about that?
Often we are locked in a really negative way of behaving towards ourselves with no idea that we are not being at all loving.
I have used the humble alphabet to give some practical tips on how to go about the gentle art of loving oneself.
Accept, that until now we thought the past had the power to control us. We now know it is not the past, it is the actions that we choose in response to our past which determine the pasts impact. The power is in the choice.
Believe, in your self. Hold that belief even when others can’t. The only thing that sits between you and your dreams is a ‘THOUGHT’. So change that thought to one which serves you, change it from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’ and ‘I will’.
Criticism, let go of the need to judge yourself and others. Start noticing what is going well in your life rather than always focusing on the lack. What we concentrate on we create more of.
Discard, habits, relationships and thinking which doesn’t serve you. Just because you have always done ‘it’, whatever ‘it’ is, doesn’t mean that you have to keep on doing ‘it’.
Embrace, each day, each moment holds the spark of possibility. Don’t waste the moment by focusing on the past. Set goals to help you become disciplined as you change habits of a life time.
Fear, change your relationship with it and see the magic happen!
Goals, will be easy to meet when they are determined by what it is that YOU want in your life. Don’t accept the limitations and narrow thinking of others. This is your life don’t waste it by trying to live somebody else’s.
Honesty, let go of the need to be perfect. Our perfection is our imperfection, accept all facets of your rich, experience filled life, and use them – the good, the bad and the ugly to create the life you want to live.
It’s ok to change your mind, if you realise that your choice is not taking you to the right destination
Joy, allow it, feel it, express it. Happiness is not a destination, the time to be happy is NOW
Knowledge, is power, when you have the full picture you can make wise decisions. Even if it is something that we find unpleasant we can move forward when we have the whole story
Love, is your birthright, and the first person you must love is YOU
Mistakes, are simply experiences, nothing more, not an excuse to shame or blame or to stop trying
Never, Never say never! New days bring new opportunities move your focus to the here and now
Omit, blame, shame, guilt, shoulds and have to’s from your life. Make space for the new and the possible.
Possibility, don’t let any one dim your light. Let yourself dream, dream big, dream in COLOR!
Quiet, learn to see time alone as an opportunity to rest your mind, and regroup rather than a space that needs filling. Learn to appreciate yourself, and your own company, YOU ARE ENOUGH!
Respect, it is essential that you respect yourself for it is your job to set the benchmark for how others will treat you.
Strength you are far stronger that you give yourself credit for. If you think you can’t cope- you won’t. If you think you can cope – you will. Choose your thoughts carefully.
Trust, be selective about who you trust. Start to earn your own trust by making better choices. Choose friends and role models who are living the life you aspire to.
Unexpected, doors will open when you start to make choices that honour you
Victory, comes through making the right choices. Life becomes easier, suddenly you will notice there is no more trauma, drama, or feeling powerless.
Wisdom, we all do our best with the knowledge, wisdom and understanding we have at the time. Repeating the same mistake over and over is not wisdom it is masochism.
X-pect the BEST always, you are worth it. Don’t rely on others to set your value, know that you are important, know that YOU matter and then others will see it also.
You, all you need to be is the best YOU, you can be! A room, a life, a relationship can’t be empty if you are in it. Make your presence count.
Zealously, be passionate, be committed, learn from your mistakes, be open to forgiving yourself and others, allow success into your life.
You are so much more
You are so much more than what you think about yourself
You are so much more than what you see
You are so much more than how others treat you
You are so much more than your past
You are so much more than your mental heal diagnosis