In a previous article I introduced you to the ABC of loving yourself.
Well there is also the other side of the alphabet. Just like Star Wars there is a dark side.
Often when I talk to clients about needing to love themselves they have no awareness at all of how cruel they are being to themselves.
Check out the following alphabet below to see if any of these look familiar.
Accept, as an absolute truth, the lie that bad experiences in the past determine the quality of youíre here and now.
Believe, that because others have not realized your value, have harmed you, or mistreated you that gives you permission to do the same.
Criticism, criticize constantly, yourself, and others. Do not miss anybody out!
Discard, the good advice of people who have successful lives
Embrace, and believe that you are your story, your addiction, your mental health diagnosis, your disability, your trauma, your past
Fear, let fear rule your life, use it as an excuse not to participate
Goals, avoid setting any because you know you will fail
Honesty, aim for perfection, and when you canít achieve it say ĎI told you so, Iím hopelessí. Lie to yourself, lie to others, believe that you have to manipulate others to get what you want
Itís ok, make the wrong choice and stick with it because you donít want other people to think you are stupid
Joy, hold the belief that you can only be happy when your life is perfect, you are the right weight, or you have a relationship or whatever ĎIíll be happy whení rule you are enforcing
Knowledge, refuse to see your mistakes as opportunities for growth and increased self awareness
Love, believe that your value is determined by how others feel about you
Mistakes, see them as reasons to stop trying
Never, give yourself a break, put yourself down with negative self talk and surround yourself with people who put you down
Omit, the good from your life. Refuse to acknowledge your successes and choose experiences which can only land you in a world filled with hurt.
Possibility, let others tell you who to be, how to be, and when to be. If they donít give you permission to be you, then be who they want you to be
Quiet, avoid it at all cost, being alone with your thoughts might bring up things you would rather not face. Use addiction or self destructive behaviours to not feel your feelings
Respect, lack of, continue to pick relationships and situations which cause you harm and lower your self-esteem.
Strength, drain all your energy and everybody elseís by believing that you donít have any.
Trust, put your trust in the wrong people time and time again, and then act surprised when they betray you, again and again
Unexpected, believe that good things only happen to good people, and that bad things happen to bad people. When something goes right, question it, and then reject it
Victory, comes when you have convinced everyone that you are totally hopeless
Wisdom, reject it as it could change your life and you are comfortable being miserable
X-pect the WORST and then act surprised when it happens
You, spend all your time being every thing to every one and then get surprised because you donít know who you are
Zealously, defend your right to stay stuck. Keep on doing the things that you have always done and then complain because you have ended up in the same place.
# Personal Disempowerment
# Unloving yourself
# Being Stuck
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